Fetish Killer: How a Death Pact Was Formed

WARNING DISTRESSING CONTENT: As an autopsy details the tragic final days of Sonia Exelby, an expert has shed light on what may have been going through the 32-year-old’s mind on her harrowing final journey, and why she felt she wasn’t able to escape

Devastating details have emerged about a British woman who reportedly flew to the US with the intention of being killed by a man she met on a fetish website – with experts warning it was “never a mutual fantasty”.

On October 10, Sonia Exelby, 32, from Portsmouth, landed in Tallahassee, Florida, to meet with a man called Dwain Hall. Her friends instantly feared that Sonia, who’d suffered with mental health issues, had entered “an extremely vulnerable situation”. Three days later, when Sonia failed to arrive home, the alarm was raised, and, not long afterwards, her remains were discovered in a woodland area of Marion Oaks, northwest of Orlando.

Now, an autopsy report has determined that Sonia died after being stabbed four times with a knife, with wounds between four to seven inches deep. It also noted that the young woman had suffered a “dried, red-orange, “V-shaped abrasion”. Her death was ruled a homicide.

Investigators said Sonia had left evidence on her computer “indicating she was suicidal and travelling to the United States to be sexually abused, tortured and possibly murdered”. Florida police later arrested Hall on charges of first-degree murder and kidnapping after connecting the 53-year-old to transactions allegedly made using Sonia’s credit cards.

Hall, who collected Sonia from the airport before driving her to a Reddick Airbnb cabin, has admitted to having violent tendencies, claimed Sonia had been suicidal and wanted to be killed. But there’s far more to the story than meets the eye.

READ MORE: Last days of ‘death pact’ Brit who flew to US to die – ‘sex, beatings and change of mind’

According to the affidavit seen by PEOPLE, Sonia wrote in a suicide note that she would be “mutilated and disabled for the rest of my life” if she “managed to get to him”. Hall reportedly described himself as a mentor who would help and not kill the troubled woman, and says that, during conversations with Sonia, they had “discussed bondage, suicide, and her desire to have someone kill her.”

Hall claimed he and Sonia had sex multiple times, describing these encounters to officers as ‘vanilla’. According to the Daily Mail, this was Sonia’s idea, not his, as he didn’t want to have sex with her because he would “feel bad” about his wife, Ginger Stein, as per an arrest affidavit.

The affidavit states that Hall said that if he was forced to help Sonia die, he would take her to Alligator Alley, where the wildlife “would have taken care of her.” When asked whether he killed Sonia, Hall refused to answer, but said “she’s happy now because she got what she wanted.”

But as explained by psychologist and criminologist Alex Iszatt, this is not a case of a “suicide pact”. Ms Iszatt told us: “Dwain Hall’s role was never that of a participant; he didn’t need to persuade Sonia; he just needed to validate her self-annihilating despair, and over two years, he mirrored her darkest beliefs, positioning himself as the sole solution to her pain.

“His behaviour displays the traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder and malignant narcissism; the minimisation of violence is central: describing an encounter where he allegedly admitted to strangling her as ‘vanilla’ sex is a profound distortion, reframing a premeditated act of control as mundane intimacy.

“His constantly shifting narratives, from hired mechanic to secret contractor to mere bystander, are not the lies of a panicked man but deliberate, grandiose obfuscation. They represent a pathological need to manipulate reality itself, casting himself in ever-more elaborate roles to evade accountability and feed his self-image as a significant, cunning operator.”

Picking up on the way in which Hall discusses his interactions with Sonia, the expert continued: “He also shows an absence of empathy; he had no remorse for his actions, just self-pity, worried about how it looks. He didn’t see Sonia’s anguish in the two years he allegedly spent grooming her; she was a resource for his gratification. He spoke about love and compassion, but misunderstood what they mean in his world.

“Allegedly killing Sonia was an act of service; he was a mercy killer, taking away her terror, her pain. His journey from digital sadist to alleged physical killer was an escalation of practice, not a departure from character, as seen in his 2014 conviction for the aggravated battery of a pregnant woman; it shows he allegedly has a pattern.

“The official autopsy ruling of homicide dismantles the idea of a ‘suicide pact’, and while Sonia may have searched for Hall with a desperate ideology, her final moments of fear and hesitation suggest a woman overwhelmed by a plan she could no longer stop. It’s likely she didn’t want the death that ultimately came, even if some part of her believed she deserved it.”

Tragically, it appears that Sonia may have changed her mind about the warped plot but was unable to find a way out of her terrifying situation. Footage obtained by police allegedly shows Hall trying to film Sonia, seen covered in bruises, giving her consent, questioning her as to why she was there and how she wanted to die. Sonia told Hall that she wanted to be stabbed; however, picking up on Sonia’s demeanour in the clip, detectives noted she appeared hesitant and visibly upset.

Investigators also found messages sent by Sonia to a friend through online messaging platform Discord, dated October 11, the day after she landed in the US. Sonia wrote: “I’m sorry he keeps taking my phone, he doesn’t trust me with it. He made it clear there was no way out unless I shoot him. I was questioning it last night”.

Adding that the previous night had been “so bad”, she told pal: “I can’t kill anyone… He’s in the shower but I’m locked in and there is no singal [sic] in the middle of nowhere. I thought he’d do it quick and not give my mind time to stew and realise this is the last thing I’ll ever day [sic] to anyone if I don’t take his offer of shooting him. He showed me how to use it and where to aim.”

Sonia’s final heartbreaking messages read as follows: “I’m so scared I’m so broken and in so much pain all I can do is lay here and doing what gee [sic] wants. Makes him respect me enough not to do the things I really hate. Everything but some are. I’m sorry I don’t even know what I’m saying and I’m trying to be quick and my times up.”

Commenting on Sonia’s apparent change of heart as the end drew near, Ms Iszatt said: “Did she change her mind? Her final messages – ‘I have made a massive mistake’ and ‘I am scared’ – weren’t sent to a friend or the emergency services, but cast into the digital wind. Suggesting that by that stage, she may already have been psychologically shutting down and writing those words may have been the final fragment of energy she possessed, a testament to a self that was being overwhelmed, not a belief that rescue was possible.

“Her inability to simply leave is not evidence of commitment, but a core characteristic of coercive control. By the time she was in that Airbnb, the dynamic was one of dominance and imminent threat; she was now alone with the man who had fantasised online as ‘alphasadist,’ who had bought a shovel and spoken casually of alligators, her freeze or flight response was to stay, and walking out was a physiological impossibility.”

So what could have driven Sonia to make that terrible final journey to see Hall? On this note, Ms Iszatt reflected: “While there is no single clinical diagnosis, Sonia’s state aligns with recognised psychological phenomena such as ‘eroticised self-destruction’ or ‘thanatophilic desire,’ where the drive toward self-annihilation becomes catastrophically intertwined with arousal, creating a feedback loop that makes suicide feel both inevitable and perversely gratifying. For her, the sexual framework was not about pleasure, but a last, desperate strategy to impose order on chaos.”

Hall, who changed his story several times during police interviews, allegedly claimed Sonia had promised to pay him $4,000 (£3,000) to help pay off his IRS debt, and that he’d got angry when she arrived in America without the cash. He later took £900 out of Sonia’s UK bank account, and also made her record three disclaimer messages and pen a letter to her family as he thought this was “funny,” per the affidavit. Investigators have asserted that these messages “showed that Hall was controlling her, that she was afraid, and had made a mistake.”

Investigators learned that, after Sonia died, Hall sent a package to a friend in Ohio, where authorities found a seven-inch Tanto blade with Sonia’s blood on it. A shovel found in Hall’s garage also had traces of Sonia’s DNA. The subsequent toxicology report found a likely presence of cannabinoids – compounds found in the cannabis plant – in Sonia’s body, while a sample also determined a blood alcohol concentration (BAC) of 0.064.

As per the Cleveland Clinic, a BAC between 0.05 per cent and 0.08 per cent may result in a person feeling inhibited, as well as having lower alertness and impaired judgement. These documents were previously shared with the Mirror after entering Discovery, a pre-trial process ahead of trial, whereby parties gather fact-based information.

Attorney Julia Williamson, who represents Hall, previously told the Mirror that he is expected in court in February, stating, “I filed a written plea of not guilty. This will stand until we receive Discovery, the evidence the government has against Mr Hall.” She added: “At this time, my client will be maintaining his right to silence concerning all aspects of the allegations. Perhaps in the future, there will be a statement to the friends and family of Ms Exelby. I express my condolences to all who grieve from this tragic loss. I know it is painful for all involved.”

For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email [email protected], visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.

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READ MORE: Autopsy reveals final moments of Brit who ‘wanted man she met on fetish site to kill her’