The Exhausting Illusion of Purpose: Why Ambition Disguised as Calling Can Hold You Back
We’re all driven,striving for something. But what happens when that “something” feels less like a genuine calling and more like a relentless, exhausting chase? Many of us walk through life feeling compelled to move forward, yet lacking a clear direction. This isn’t simply aimlessness; it’s often the weight of an unrecognized chimera – a fantastical, shifting goal that masquerades as purpose.
This concept, beautifully articulated by a friend named Luc, resonated deeply: “It is burdensome ambition pretending to be purpose.” It’s a powerful observation. Ambition itself can be draining, but ambition disguised as purpose is far more insidious.
The Trap of “Purpose” as a Shield
Why is this the case? Because purpose offers a convenient shield. Once you label something as your purpose, critical self-reflection often stops. You can justify relentless effort, even burnout, by telling yourself you’re fulfilling your destiny. But are you truly aligned with a meaningful path,or are you chasing a mirage?
Think of it this way: purpose is ambition with exceptional public relations. It’s harder to question, easier to hide behind. You become so focused on doing that you forget to ask why.
The Modern Condition: A City of Glimmering Beasts
This phenomenon isn’t new.Observing people in Los Angeles, I was reminded of Charles Baudelaire’s descriptions of Parisians - heads bowed, subtly pulled forward by an unseen force. That force is often the chimera.
In a city like Hollywood, that chimera might take the form of:
* A breakthrough role.
* A coveted show.
* A lucrative book deal.
* A career that finally delivers validation.
My own chimera? A television show I’ve been developing for a decade. it’s a hybrid creation, fueled by ambition, longing, and the fear of running out of time.And, like many, I often forget it’s even there, simply continuing the pursuit.
The Shifting Goalposts and the Fantasy Within
The core problem isn’t having ambitious dreams. Big dreams can be incredibly motivating. The issue arises when the goal itself is fundamentally unattainable because it’s constantly evolving. The closer you get, the more the desired outcome dissolves.
It’s not the project that becomes burdensome, but the fantasy attached to it. The belief that achieving this one thing will finally bring inner peace, security, and completion.
But fantasies are notoriously slippery. And ambition, cloaked in the guise of purpose, becomes almost invisible. You don’t recognize the weight you’re carrying; you only feel the pressure to keep moving. As Ralph observes, “Illusion is not the exception in perception. It is indeed the default.”
recognizing and Reclaiming Your Agency
The power lies in naming the unseen burden. Calling the chimera by its name - acknowledging the fantastical elements driving your actions - unlocks choices you didn’t know you had.
You don’t have to abandon ambition. You don’t need to suddenly embrace serenity.You simply need to pause, as Baudelaire suggests, and honestly assess what you’re carrying.
When you identify the chimera, its allure diminishes. its power wanes. You don’t need to destroy it; you need to see it. Then, you can consciously decide if it still deserves a place in your life.
The Weight of What Never was
Ultimately, some of the heaviest burdens we carry are those that exist only in our minds. By recognizing the difference between genuine purpose and disguised ambition, you can reclaim your energy, refocus your efforts, and build a life driven by intention, not illusion.
Are you ready to examine the chimeras in your own life? Start by asking yourself: What am I striving for, and why? The answer might surprise you.
