Why Your Twenties Feel So Hard—and How to Survive Them

Gen Z is navigating a perfect storm of financial strain, career uncertainty, and identity crises—with no clear roadmap for success. According to a 2024 Brookings Institution report, 68% of young adults aged 20-29 report feeling “chronically overwhelmed” by the gap between expectations and reality, while PwC’s Next in Line survey found that 73% of Gen Zers believe they’ll never achieve the financial stability their parents had at the same age.

The pressure to “have it all figured out” by 25 is a modern myth—yet the economic realities make it harder than ever. Rising housing costs (up 45% since 2010 in major U.S. cities per Zillow), stagnant wages, and the gig economy’s instability create a daily juggling act most 20-somethings didn’t sign up for. “It’s not that we’re lazy or incapable,” says Dr. Emily Roberts, a developmental psychologist at Harvard who studies generational workplace transitions. “We’re operating in an economy that demands adulting skills before we’ve had time to develop them.”

Nowhere is this tension more vividly captured than in Not Suitable for Work, the Disney+ series that follows four young adults navigating friendship, romance, and career pivots in Los Angeles. The show’s star, Nicholas Duvernay, who plays aspiring actor Kel Washington, draws from his own experiences to portray the universal struggle of questioning whether you’re “doing life right” when the rules keep changing.

Why the Financial Pressure Feels Unbeatable

The numbers don’t lie: The average 25-year-old in the U.S. now spends 42% of their income on housing—up from 28% in 2000, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. When you factor in student debt (the Class of 2023 graduated with an average $38,000 in loans per Federal Reserve data), the math becomes impossible for many.

“You’re told to get a degree, get a job, buy a house—all before you’ve even figured out what you want to do with your life,” Duvernay says. “But the timeline for those milestones has collapsed while the cost of achieving them has skyrocketed.” His character Kel Washington embodies this dilemma: after years of pretending to pursue medical school to please his family, he quits to chase acting—a decision that isolates him from his roommates and strains his relationship with his parents.

“The cost of living literally just makes it so impossible to balance it. You have to work countless hours a week to really be able to get ahead or have a life outside of work.”

Nicholas Duvernay, actor and Not Suitable for Work star

This financial tightrope isn’t unique to actors. A Gallup poll found that 56% of young professionals report working more than 50 hours weekly just to cover essentials, leaving little energy for relationships or personal growth. “The impossibility of it all adds weight to every other part of your life,” Duvernay explains. “Friendships suffer when you can’t afford to see people. Romantic relationships become transactional. And your own self-worth gets tangled up in whether you’re ‘winning’ at adulthood by someone else’s rules.”

When Your ‘Dream Life’ Isn’t What You Expected

One of the most painful realizations in your 20s is discovering that the path you’ve been groomed for isn’t actually what you want. For Kel, this means abandoning medical school—a decision that triggers family disapproval and mockery from his roommates. Duvernay’s own journey mirrors this conflict: “I was applying to colleges I didn’t want to go to just to make my parents happy,” he admits. “When I finally told them I wasn’t sure about college at all, they’d already planned tours to 15 schools.”

“I was just applying to make my parents think that I wanted to go to college because it’s the right thing to do, until I was like, ‘I don’t know if I wanna go to college, guys.’ And they were like, ‘Well, you should’ve told us before we went on three tours and applied to 15 other colleges.'”

Nicholas Duvernay

This generational pressure to conform is nothing new, but the stakes feel higher today. A Pew Research study found that 62% of Gen Zers report feeling “stuck between what they were taught to value and what they actually want.” The paradox? Most young adults do want traditional markers of success—just on their own terms. The problem is the system doesn’t accommodate pivots.

Duvernay’s experience as an actor—working odd jobs, facing constant rejection, and spending months away from home—highlights another 20-something struggle: the loneliness of building a life when your work requires geographic or temporal sacrifices. “There’s nothing that can replace sitting down and being across from someone,” he says. “But when you’re an actor, you’re away for three to six months at a time. How do you maintain those connections?”

The Community That Gets You Through

Despite the challenges, research shows that strong social support networks reduce stress by 37% in young adults, according to a 2019 study in the Journal of Adolescent Health. For many in their 20s, roommates, close friends, and chosen family become the safety net when institutions fail.

“I think everyone can relate to having a horrible day at work and coming home to roommates who are there for you when you feel like your world is falling apart. That’s such an integral part of being in your twenties—having that built-in community.”

Nicholas Duvernay

Duvernay’s own experience reflects this: “I’m home now, and it’s almost stressful because I can’t be in 100 places at once. I’m really hard on myself, and sometimes I can feel like I’m not doing enough, but I just give myself grace. I’m only human.” This self-compassion is a critical but often overlooked tool for navigating the 20s. Dr. Kristin Neff, a self-compassion researcher at UT Austin, notes that young adults who practice self-kindness are 23% more resilient to career setbacks (Self-Compassion Research).

The show Not Suitable for Work explores this dynamic through Kel’s roommates: a mix of supportive friends and those who struggle to understand his choices. “The hardest part isn’t the failure—it’s the judgment from people who think they know what’s best for you,” Duvernay says. “But the friends who stick around? They’re the ones who help you realize that ‘failing’ isn’t the opposite of success—it’s just part of the process.”

What Happens Next: The Future of ‘Adulting’ in Your 20s

The economic and social pressures of the 20s aren’t going away, but experts say the solution lies in redefining success on individual terms. “We’ve bought into the myth that there’s a single ‘right’ way to do your 20s,” says Dr. Roberts. “But the data shows that flexibility—whether in career, relationships, or living arrangements—is the new resilience.”

Key shifts already underway include:

• Delayed independence: 38% of 25-34-year-olds now live with parents (Census data), up from 12% in 1960.
• Career experimentation: 43% of Gen Zers expect to change careers three or more times (Deloitte).
• Financial creativity: Side hustles now account for 27% of Gen Z income (Bankrate).

For Duvernay, the message is simple: “Give yourself permission to figure it out as you go. The people who make it through their 20s successfully aren’t the ones who had it all together—they’re the ones who kept showing up, even when it was messy.” The final two episodes of Not Suitable for Work air June 23 on Disney+, offering a fictional but deeply relatable conclusion to the question: How do you build a life when you’re still figuring out who you are?