#Leah #open #relationship #husband #wimp
Every week we share a candid and honest love lesson from a reader. Because love only becomes more beautiful when you share. Leah (52) and Marco have been in an open relationship for a year. Only: she scores dates much easier than he does. Does such a construction still work?
“The idea crept carefully into my head about three years ago. With fifty in sight, I felt that things could be a little more, a little different. A little more exciting. Marco and I have been together for over thirty years, he is the second boy I ever kissed.
The love of my life, that too, but the idea that I wouldn’t touch anyone else for the next fifty years terrified me. I shared my thoughts on a terrace in France and Marco understood my feeling. He sometimes thought about it himself, he said. “Would you kiss him?” , he asked, pointing to one of the guests on the terrace. “No,” I said, “but that one is.” The idea of an open relationship was born and gave us fire and confidence.”
“We made love during the entire holiday. And we talked. We talked a lot. We looked for the right dates for a long time, we talked even more and are now both active on dating apps. With varying degrees of success. It turns out that I find it much easier to collect matches and dates than he does.
According to Marco, there is a surplus of men and women are very critical, even though he still looks good. Maybe he’s right. I have the men to choose from. Every time I log in there are new messages in my inbox. I can throw half away anyway, because it’s nothing. I also ignore the cheaters.”
Feeling rejected
“We recently went on a duo date, in which the man and I clicked, but the woman and Marco did not. It could happen, I thought, but Marco was quite offended by it. And I understand that.
While I am completely revitalized by all the new adventures and attention, Marco seems to be souring. He feels rejected and has already muttered twice that he doesn’t need to do this anymore.”
“This year I slept with two other men, one of whom was worth it.”
“I try to cheer him up and help him make his profile more attractive. Other photos, a cheerful text. According to him, mostly monstrosities still come to him. I’m afraid that Marco will give up and that that to me it means the party is over.
Can we still keep our relationship open when it seems to make one of the two unhappy? I’d rather not give up my contacts, but I’m sure Marco would do the other way around for me. What does it say about me, and about our relationship, that quitting is not an option for me?”
Unexpected inequality in relationship
“I feel alive again since I occasionally go on dates. I love meeting someone who I want to immerse myself in. Someone who amazes and surprises me. I find curiosity even more important than sex.
This year I slept with two other men, only one of whom was worth it. Marco knows that too, because we discuss everything. The fact that things don’t work out for him also creates an unexpected inequality in our relationship. He becomes the wimp, while he loves to feel like the man.”
“For me, Marco is still my husband, my true love. But we have also stood still for too long. Or better yet, I have stood still for too long and now I have such a need for new people and new energy that I don’t want to stop dating .
Can I ask that of Marco? Can our marriage withstand such a strong personal need, or is this the point where you compromise for each other?”
Erotic party
“We have agreed that we will leave it for now. Soon we will go to an erotic party together and see what happens there. And that’s fine with me, but as soon as he goes into town for an evening with his friends, or to football, I’ll just open the app again. Just chat and flirt, I think.”
Wanted: Love Lessons
For the Love Lessons section on RTL News Lifestyle we are looking for beautiful, vulnerable, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with your hand in your own bosom. In the end, did you turn out to be the one with a fear of commitment? Should you never have emigrated for love or did a blended family prove to be an illusion after all? Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you all about it. You can tell anonymously. Mail to: [email protected].
