Vienna, Austria – A new Austrian-German co-production, “So haben wir dich nicht erzogen” (roughly translated as “That’s Not How We Raised You”), is sparking conversation with its comedic exploration of modern family dynamics, generational differences, and evolving societal norms. Premiering on March 18, 2026, on Germany’s ARD Mediathek and Austria’s ORF, the film, directed by Michael Kreihsl and written by Uli Brée, stars Gerti Drassl and Brigitte Hobmeier as a long-term lesbian couple whose carefully constructed world is upended when their daughter, Hedwig, announces her engagement to a man. The film promises a witty and poignant look at the challenges of acceptance, the complexities of love, and the enduring power of family – even when that family defies traditional definitions.
The film centers on Balbina (Hobmeier) and Inka (Drassl), who raised their daughter, Hedwig (Alina Schaller), through artificial insemination. Hedwig, named after the feminist writer Hedwig Dohm, has always embodied their progressive values. However, her decision to marry Andreas Hofer (Julian Pichler) throws their carefully curated worldview into disarray. The narrative unfolds as Andreas navigates the unique dynamic of a family with two mothers, while Balbina and Inka grapple with their own preconceived notions about relationships and societal expectations. The comedic tension is further heightened by the arrival of Andreas’s more traditional parents from Tyrol, adding another layer of cultural clash to the already complex situation. “So haben wir dich nicht erzogen” isn’t simply a story about a daughter’s unconventional choice; it’s a reflection on the evolving definitions of family and the often-uncomfortable process of confronting one’s own biases.
The film’s premise draws parallels to the classic 1967 film “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” starring Katharine Hepburn and Sidney Poitier, as noted by Drassl. However, Brée’s script flips the script, presenting a scenario where the seemingly open-minded and tolerant Balbina harbors the most ingrained prejudices – in this case, against men. This inversion of expectations is a key element of the film’s comedic and thematic strength. The film doesn’t shy away from tackling complex issues, with Balbina’s character actively engaged in a project to rewrite the Bible with gender-neutral language, proclaiming, “And God created humankind in his image, as androgynous, bigender, queer, non-binary…” This bold statement, while intended to be progressive, highlights the challenges of navigating sensitive topics and the potential for unintended consequences.
A Clash of Values and Generations
The initial reaction to Hedwig’s announcement is predictably chaotic. Balbina’s immediate response is to seek therapy for her daughter, while Inka engages in a heated argument with Balbina, accusing her of excessive alcohol and nicotine consumption – habits Balbina defends as necessary for her writing. Adding to the mix is Edgar (Thomas Mraz), a friend of the family who previously served as Inka’s notarial partner to facilitate Hedwig’s conception. Now a Catholic priest in a relationship with an Evangelical pastor, Edgar attempts to mediate the situation, but finds himself caught in the crossfire. The arrival of Andreas’s parents, Petra (Carmen Gratl) and Dietmar (Roland Silbernagl), from Tyrol, further complicates matters, as their more traditional values clash with the progressive ethos of Balbina, and Inka. The film skillfully portrays the generational gap and the differing perspectives on love, marriage, and family that often arise within it.
The comedic elements of “So haben wir dich nicht erzogen” are rooted in the characters’ exaggerated reactions and the absurdity of the situations they locate themselves in. The film doesn’t shy away from poking fun at both sides of the ideological divide, highlighting the hypocrisy and contradictions that can exist within even the most well-intentioned individuals. The dynamic between Balbina and Inka is particularly well-developed, showcasing their long-standing partnership and the subtle power dynamics that have evolved over time. Their contrasting personalities – Balbina’s outspoken and confrontational nature versus Inka’s more reserved and pragmatic approach – create a compelling and relatable dynamic. The film’s strength lies in its ability to balance humor with genuine emotional depth, exploring the complexities of human relationships with sensitivity and insight.
Exploring Modern Family Structures
“So haben wir dich nicht erzogen” arrives at a time when representations of diverse family structures are becoming increasingly prevalent in popular culture. The film’s portrayal of a same-sex couple raising a child through artificial insemination reflects a growing acceptance of alternative family models. However, the film also acknowledges the challenges and complexities that can arise within these structures, particularly when faced with societal expectations and ingrained prejudices. The film’s exploration of these themes is particularly relevant in Austria, where same-sex marriage was only legalized in 2019. The legalization of same-sex marriage in Austria followed years of debate and advocacy, and the film’s portrayal of a loving and committed same-sex couple contributes to the ongoing conversation about equality and acceptance.
The film also touches upon the evolving role of gender in society. Balbina’s project to rewrite the Bible with gender-neutral language is a provocative statement about the limitations of traditional religious texts and the need for more inclusive language. While her approach may be seen as radical, it raises important questions about the power of language to shape our perceptions and reinforce societal norms. The film doesn’t offer easy answers, but rather encourages viewers to critically examine their own beliefs and assumptions. The character of Edgar, a Catholic priest in a same-sex relationship, further complicates the narrative, challenging traditional notions of faith and sexuality.
A Comedic Reflection on Societal Norms
“So haben wir dich nicht erzogen” is a clever and entertaining comedy that invites viewers to laugh at themselves and their own biases. The film’s strength lies in its ability to tackle serious issues with a light touch, creating a space for dialogue and understanding. While the plot may rely on a few convenient coincidences, the film’s underlying message – the importance of acceptance, tolerance, and open-mindedness – resonates deeply. The film’s success will likely depend on its ability to connect with audiences on an emotional level, prompting them to reflect on their own relationships and the values that shape their lives.
The film is a co-production of ORF (Austrian Broadcasting Corporation) and BR (Bayerischer Rundfunk, Bavarian Broadcasting). Michael Kreihsl, the director, is known for his work on “Die Wunderübung” (The Miracle Exercise), and Uli Brée, the screenwriter, has previously penned scripts for “Faltenfrei” (Wrinkle-Free) and “Engel mit beschränkter Haftung” (Angels with Limited Liability). The cast, featuring established actors like Brigitte Hobmeier, Gerti Drassl, and Thomas Mraz, alongside rising stars Alina Schaller and Julian Pichler, adds to the film’s appeal. “So haben wir dich nicht erzogen” is available on the ARD Mediathek until March 11, 2027, and was broadcast on Germany’s Das Erste channel on March 18, 2026.
Key Takeaways
- “So haben wir dich nicht erzogen” is a comedic exploration of modern family dynamics and generational differences.
- The film challenges traditional notions of family and relationships, portraying a same-sex couple raising a daughter through artificial insemination.
- It tackles complex issues such as gender identity, societal expectations, and the importance of acceptance with humor and sensitivity.
- The film’s cast, featuring established and rising stars, adds to its appeal.
- “So haben wir dich nicht erzogen” is available on the ARD Mediathek until March 11, 2027.
As audiences continue to seek out stories that reflect the diversity of modern life, “So haben wir dich nicht erzogen” offers a timely and relevant contribution to the conversation. The film’s blend of humor, heart, and social commentary is sure to resonate with viewers around the world. Keep an eye on the ARD Mediathek for updates and further information about the film’s availability and potential international distribution. What are your thoughts on the evolving definitions of family? Share your comments below and let us know what you think!