The fate of the rebellious ‘spare’: why Harry and Alexia push boundaries | Royal family

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Princess Alexia was in the spotlight this year and the British Prince Harry also managed to keep people busy again. The ‘spare’, second in line to the throne, often shows a rebellious edge. Where does that come from?

“You will be king one day. And I won’t. So I can do whatever I want.” These are the words of the then four-year-old Prince Harry, who is still very much looking forward to the role of ‘spare’.

35 years later, that image has completely changed. In his autobiography Spare (Reserve) tells Harry, now 39, about his dissatisfaction with his position. And that it even led to his departure from the United Kingdom.

The younger brother or sister of the heir to the throne often knows how to attract attention. Think of Princess Margaret, sister of the late Queen Elizabeth. She was known as a chain-smoking party girl and started an affair with her father George’s stable master, who was sixteen years older. Or the Norwegian princess Märtha Louise, who is in a relationship with a controversial American shaman. As a result, she had to resign from her royal duties.

Rebellious spares can also be found closer to home: Prince Laurent, the brother of Belgian King Philippe, has a shady image and has been charged with fraud and extortion. But the most striking example is Prince Andrew, King Charles’ younger brother. He also partied wildly in his younger years, but it didn’t stop there. He was friends with convicted trafficker Jeffrey Epstein and the prince himself is also accused of rape.

William and Harry did not speak to each other during Queen Elizabeth’s funeral. Photo: ANP

‘Secondly, you still have to find your role’

“The three generations of the British royal family all conform to that image of the rebellious spare,” says royal expert and historian Coks Donders.

That can hardly be a coincidence. Is there an explanation for that behavior? “If you are born as the first child and therefore as heir to the throne, a lot is predestined,” says Gerrie Reijersen van Buuren, who works as a teacher of intergenerational family dynamics. “The first has been given a clear role – the second still has to find its role.”

The heir to the throne is prepared from an early age for the great task that awaits later. The younger brother or sister has more freedom. “And that behavior can be expressed more explicitly, for example by having an affair with someone who is ‘not of standing’.”

Despite slightly more freedoms, the life of the spare looks very different from that of an average person. “They are expected to wait politely until the moment their brother or sister dies,” says Donders. “Until then, they have to behave.”

Alexia (left) with mother Máxima and older sister Amalia. Photo: ANP

In the Netherlands, spares have more freedom

In the Netherlands this is slightly easier than in the British, says Donders. “Friso (the younger brother of Willem-Alexander who died in 2013, ed.) was actually able to lead his own life. He was allowed to study whatever he wanted. Although he did have to take extra subjects, such as Dutch law – just in case he would unexpectedly become king.”

In the United Kingdom it is a bit more extreme. There you are expected to serve the army and you cannot choose your job. “Being part of the royal family is just your job,” says the royalty expert. “Even though that person’s heart may lie in the baking or banking world.”

“It does something to you if you are not allowed to be yourself,” adds Reijersen van Buuren. “There are many restrictions and limitations within a royal family. They are largely raised by nannies, because their parents are often absent for work. These are extreme living conditions that can have a major impact on someone’s psyche.”

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Once buddies, now a big fight

Prince Harry says in his book that he had a difficult childhood as a spare. He has now put that behind him: four years ago he said goodbye to his royal duties. He is also at odds with his father and brother. “In the case of divorced parents – such as the family of Charles and Diana – you often see that a split arises between the children because they have to divide their loyalties,” says family expert Reijersen van Buuren.

This is often to the detriment of their relationship. “As heir to the throne, William is more dependent on his father, so it may be that Harry thinks: then I should put my mother on the map. Which he does with a television interview or in his book. Also to assert himself The second in line often receives less attention than the eldest and may feel the need to also throw his or her life into the public eye.”

These arguments often remain behind closed doors, but Harry decided to write about it extensively in his book. “He states that William is the good heir to the throne, and he is the black sheep,” says Donders. “They were really friends, it’s a shame that their fate tears everything apart. I hope there comes a time when they come closer to each other. How and in what way? I wish I had a crystal ball.”

Fortunately, the Dutch royal family is a lot calmer. Amalia and Alexia are great friends and our ‘spare’ has not (yet) caused a big commotion. Although some eyebrows were raised when photos were leaked showing Alexia (according to some) scantily clad – something that seems a lot less likely with Amalia.

“I hope for Alexia that she can just be young,” says Donders. “We shouldn’t immediately condemn her because we saw in leaked photos that she sometimes smokes and wears short skirts. Those are things that almost every teenager has done, right?”