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In an era where instant gratification and the constant pursuit of pleasure are omnipresent, the feeling of being trapped in a spiral of permanent dissatisfaction has become increasingly common in contemporary society. In short, there are many people who live immersed in a chronic discontenteven when at first glance they seem to have everything necessary to achieve their Maximum potential And be happy. However, this emotional void that they experience every day, leads them to an inability to enjoy themselves, which has a significant impact on their mental health and his integral wellness.
“Without a doubt, this is a multidimensional topic, which is why it has been addressed throughout history by various fields of study, from Greek philosophy, sociology or positive psychology, where you represent, like Martin Seligman, proposed the concept of “hedonic adaptation” which consists of the fact that when individuals achieve their goals and desires, their happiness tends to return to a base level, which can be interpreted as a feeling of permanent dissatisfaction. For this reason, it could be defined as a persistent state of emotional discomfort and discontent that affects the subjective perception of well-being and satisfaction with life. Basically, this can manifest as a constant emptiness, lack of purpose or hopelessness, despite recurring efforts to find happiness,” highlighted Dr. José Alfonso Mesía Guevara, president of the organizational psychology committee of the College of Psychologists of Peru. Welfare.
What can cause permanent dissatisfaction in a person?
Dissatisfaction is a feeling that appears when the things we have or what we have achieved do not by themselves meet our expectations, in other words, it is a discrepancy between our own expectations and reality. As Liliana Tuñoque, psychotherapist at the International Clinic, expressed, one of the most common causes is when we are not very clear about what we really want, generating a feeling of emptiness and not being able to find something that really fulfills us. Specifically, they are those people who always have their eyes on others and are constantly comparing themselves, in addition to usually being focused on meeting external demands and pressures.
Permanent dissatisfaction can be the result of a variety of factors, such as unrealistic expectations, excessive self-criticism, lack of self-acceptance, constant comparison with others, among others.
For his part, the psychologist said that the causes can be diverse, both external and internal. On the one hand, there are certain external factors, such as chronic stress, social pressure and traumatic events that can trigger feelings of constant discomfort, while, internally, the following psychological factors can contribute to this state:
- Anhedonia: Refers to the inability to experience pleasure in activities that would normally be rewarding. This symptom is common in mood disorders, like depression. Technically, anhedonia is one of the key symptoms of depression and can contribute to a general feeling of dissatisfaction and emptiness.
- Cognitive distortions: These are negative and biased thinking patterns that can influence the way people interpret their environment and experiences.
- Perfectionism: Refers to the relentless pursuit of extremely high standards and excessive self-demand, which can hinder the ability to enjoy experiences due to constant dissatisfaction with the results.
- Self-criticism: When people are excessively critical of themselves, They tend to magnify their flaws and mistakes, which can lead to low self-esteem and a constant feeling of dissatisfaction.
- Rumination: The tendency to repeatedly focus on negative thoughts about oneself, others, or the world in general. Prolonged rumination can increase feelings of dissatisfaction and decrease the ability to enjoy positive experiences.
How is occasional dissatisfaction different from chronic dissatisfaction?
Occasional dissatisfaction is a normal response to temporary setbacks or unmet expectations, which can be experienced by anyone and at various times in life. Basically, this tends to decrease over time as the individual adapts to new circumstances or finds various ways to overcome obstacles. On the other hand, permanent dissatisfaction implies a chronic state of discontent that persists over time, regardless of the positive or negative experiences that may occur.
“When a person is dissatisfied at all times, they often say phrases like: “I could have done more,” “no matter what I do, I will never be able to do something well,” and “I didn’t do my best to make everything perfect.” mentioned the specialist from the International Clinic.
People who experience a state of permanent dissatisfaction may find it difficult to enjoy their successes or find happiness in their daily lives, as they are always looking for something else to fill an internal void.
What are the signs and symptoms that could reflect permanent dissatisfaction?
Signs and symptoms that could indicate that someone is experiencing a state of permanent dissatisfaction include: a combination of persistent negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, irritability and hopelessness. Likewise, as Dr. Mesía pointed out, it can manifest itself in changes in behavior, whether social isolation, lack of motivation, and inability to enjoy activities that were previously considered pleasurable. Alterations in sleep and appetite may also occur.
How does permanent dissatisfaction affect long-term mental and emotional health?
The most common effect is the development of mood disorders, such as depression and anxiety. Certainly, permanent dissatisfaction can act as a risk factor for these conditions, thus exacerbating the symptoms and making their treatment difficult. Likewise, it can contribute to the development of other mental health problems, such as low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and interpersonal insecurity.
“Of course, maintaining this state chronically can negatively impact interpersonal relationships, academic or work performance, and general satisfaction with life. Likewise, various longitudinal studies have shown that dissatisfaction is associated with a greater risk of suffering from cardiovascular diseases over time,” indicated the expert from the College of Psychologists of Peru.
What therapeutic strategies or techniques are effective in addressing permanent dissatisfaction?
Without a doubt, it is important to learn to accept ourselves as we are, that is, with our virtues and defects, as well as setting realistic goals and avoiding comparing ourselves with others. Indeed, we can achieve this through psychotherapy, specifically, under the cognitive behavioral approach, which helps us become aware of our negative thoughts and cognitive distortions that contribute to our dissatisfaction and emotional discomfort, thus providing us with a wide variety of tools. to face stressful situations with greater clarity and respond to them more effectively, said Liliana Tuñoque.
Cultivating an attitude of gratitude toward what we already have, rather than focusing on what we lack, can change our perspective and help us find satisfaction in the little things in life.
“Another alternative is acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) which helps people accept their thoughts and emotions, rather than fighting them, while committing to actions that are consistent with their personal values and life goals. Definitely, this is an excellent therapeutic option to treat chronic dissatisfaction, since it encourages a change of perspective and greater psychological flexibility,” said the specialist.
How can we overcome permanent dissatisfaction?
According to the psychotherapist, if someone finds themselves trapped in a cycle of permanent dissatisfaction and seeks to change their perspective and mentality, they can carry out the following practices or habits:
- Reflect on thoughts: It is essential to take time to analyze our thoughts and emotions, in order to identify the negative patterns that are contributing to our dissatisfaction and work to change them progressively. Likewise, it is important to learn to value each step and achievement obtained, no matter how small, as well as to always look for the positive side of things. To do this, we can practice full attention or mindfulness, since it allows us to focus on the present moment without judging ourselves, thus reducing rumination and improving emotional well-being.
- Practice gratitude: Be grateful for what we have It can help us shift our focus toward the positive in our lives. Every day, we should take a moment to reflect on the things we are grateful for. Therefore, it is essential to validate each achievement we have and also be able to enjoy our mistakes, which are a great learning opportunity.
- Set clear and realistic goals: These objectives should be achievable and aligned with personal values, providing us with a greater sense of purpose and direction in life. It is important to remember that success is not always linked to external achievements, but also to personal fulfillment and internal growth.
- Practice self-care: It is essential to maintain a healthy lifestyle, which includes activities such as a balanced diet, exercising regularly, meditating, reading a book, achieving quality sleep and all those positive habits that generate peace and joy.
- Cultivate meaningful relationships: Establishing satisfactory and healthy interpersonal relationships are essential for our emotional well-being. Therefore, it is crucial to spend time with our friends and loved ones, thus cultivating genuine connections that help us counteract the feeling of loneliness and alienation.
“The first big step we must take is to be able to recognize that we are immersed in a vicious circle of dissatisfaction, but we must also keep in mind that change takes time and patience. For this reason, it is important that we be kind to ourselves during this process and find a therapeutic space and professional support if necessary, in order to be able to work on our own insecurities and focus on our general well-being.”
